Catherine's Journal
by Nancy Curles
       
November 17, 1987
                                         
        Our love can carry me through the most trying times.  I
experience a sense of peace and belonging when I stop and realize
that no matter what I am going through you are with me.  Through
our bond or connection if you will you experience everything that
I experience during any given time.
        Knowing that you are with me gives me an inner strength I
never knew I had.  This also creates a calming peace in my mind
and heart as I realize that I am protected or guarded from
whatever may try to harm me.  You are my strong, silent hero
always putting aside your own reservations or wants and desires
in order to protect those whom you love.  When we are together I
am confident that absolutely nothing can harm me because you are
always nearby watching out for my well being.  
        I enjoy spending my spare time with you in the
tunnels - yes, I am fully aware that when we first met, you and
especially Father didn't exactly know what to expect.  Inviting a
"stranger" in to live Below had never been done before.  Who
would have known that we would have become so close to each
other?  I know, I certainly had no earthly idea that I would find
someone with whom I could completely trust and share my innermost
thoughts with.  However, I firmly believe that if you hadn't
initially been there for me that night I would not have had the
courage to continue my life as a career woman in the District
Attorney's office.  
     There is no way to explain the amount of gratitude I have
towards you and Father both, although he felt uneasy at first by
our relationship, I strongly believe that now he understands that
I am here forever and  that I am not giving up nor am I about to
say anything about this safe place I  have found Below with
anyone who might jeopardize our relationship together.  You mean
absolutely everything to me.  I don't know what I would do if I
did not have you in my life...I do realize that my life would be
an empty void without our friendship.
      
     With our bond somehow you can sense when I need to feel your
presence with me and even though I can be working on a difficult
  case I can sense your approval and guidance in everything that
I do.  It is so fulfilling for me to know that you are behind me. 
After a long day it is so relaxing to sit outside on my balcony
with you and read stories or talk over things.  You don't know
how much I treasure what we have together, Vincent.  You offer
your protection and guard me when I often don't realize that I am
in danger.
       There was a time when we both thought it best that I go
away for awhile.  Vincent, that was the most difficult thing I
have had to do since I began my career.  I came to you for your
advice about accepting another job. After a long discussion, we 
both decided that my leaving was the best for that situation.
During the time I was packing I felt as though I was leaving a
part of myself behind.  Later, I found out that you had been
found by a couple of people who meant you harm.  I did
everything I could to find you and make sure that you were okay. 
Father willingly came to me and informed me of what was
happening. Vincent, I truly believe he is coming around at least
to the point where he senses that we are meant for each other.  I
do not believe he would have informed me that you were missing if
he did not believe that I care about what happens to you.
 
     Throughout this situation, I have realized that not only are
you connected to me but that I am also connected with you.  In a
way, I have sensed more lately that whatever happens between us
we are meant for each other. As I have stated before, I truly
believe that the strength of our love for each other will enable
us to conquer whatever lies ahead of us. Somehow, I believe
Father supports our relationship...although he himself wouldn't
readily admit it. He needs to realize that I could never harm
you-that would be detrimental to my state of being as well. Our
bond has brought us closer than I would have imagined. We are so
connected with our feelings and experiences that we can help each
other by only thinking of the other person. Having that knowledge
gives each of us the courage to face each new day with the
promises of many more tomorrows of being together. That is what
makes everything so unique within our relationship Vincent, and I
feel confident that we will continue for a lifetime-I LOVE YOU!! 
                                
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About the Author 

Nancy Curles has enjoyed watching the show since it was first
aired although she did not find BATB fandom until January of
1993.  She's written a few short stories and/or poems. To date,
she have also written a digest sized zine. Nancy is active in the
Dreamseekers club.  You can email Nancy at ncurles@pen.k12.va.us.