Catherine's Journal by Nancy Curles November 17, 1987 Our love can carry me through the most trying times. I experience a sense of peace and belonging when I stop and realize that no matter what I am going through you are with me. Through our bond or connection if you will you experience everything that I experience during any given time. Knowing that you are with me gives me an inner strength I never knew I had. This also creates a calming peace in my mind and heart as I realize that I am protected or guarded from whatever may try to harm me. You are my strong, silent hero always putting aside your own reservations or wants and desires in order to protect those whom you love. When we are together I am confident that absolutely nothing can harm me because you are always nearby watching out for my well being. I enjoy spending my spare time with you in the tunnels - yes, I am fully aware that when we first met, you and especially Father didn't exactly know what to expect. Inviting a "stranger" in to live Below had never been done before. Who would have known that we would have become so close to each other? I know, I certainly had no earthly idea that I would find someone with whom I could completely trust and share my innermost thoughts with. However, I firmly believe that if you hadn't initially been there for me that night I would not have had the courage to continue my life as a career woman in the District Attorney's office. There is no way to explain the amount of gratitude I have towards you and Father both, although he felt uneasy at first by our relationship, I strongly believe that now he understands that I am here forever and that I am not giving up nor am I about to say anything about this safe place I have found Below with anyone who might jeopardize our relationship together. You mean absolutely everything to me. I don't know what I would do if I did not have you in my life...I do realize that my life would be an empty void without our friendship. With our bond somehow you can sense when I need to feel your presence with me and even though I can be working on a difficult case I can sense your approval and guidance in everything that I do. It is so fulfilling for me to know that you are behind me. After a long day it is so relaxing to sit outside on my balcony with you and read stories or talk over things. You don't know how much I treasure what we have together, Vincent. You offer your protection and guard me when I often don't realize that I am in danger. There was a time when we both thought it best that I go away for awhile. Vincent, that was the most difficult thing I have had to do since I began my career. I came to you for your advice about accepting another job. After a long discussion, we both decided that my leaving was the best for that situation. During the time I was packing I felt as though I was leaving a part of myself behind. Later, I found out that you had been found by a couple of people who meant you harm. I did everything I could to find you and make sure that you were okay. Father willingly came to me and informed me of what was happening. Vincent, I truly believe he is coming around at least to the point where he senses that we are meant for each other. I do not believe he would have informed me that you were missing if he did not believe that I care about what happens to you. Throughout this situation, I have realized that not only are you connected to me but that I am also connected with you. In a way, I have sensed more lately that whatever happens between us we are meant for each other. As I have stated before, I truly believe that the strength of our love for each other will enable us to conquer whatever lies ahead of us. Somehow, I believe Father supports our relationship...although he himself wouldn't readily admit it. He needs to realize that I could never harm you-that would be detrimental to my state of being as well. Our bond has brought us closer than I would have imagined. We are so connected with our feelings and experiences that we can help each other by only thinking of the other person. Having that knowledge gives each of us the courage to face each new day with the promises of many more tomorrows of being together. That is what makes everything so unique within our relationship Vincent, and I feel confident that we will continue for a lifetime-I LOVE YOU!! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ About the Author Nancy Curles has enjoyed watching the show since it was first aired although she did not find BATB fandom until January of 1993. She's written a few short stories and/or poems. To date, she have also written a digest sized zine. Nancy is active in the Dreamseekers club. You can email Nancy at firstname.lastname@example.org.